Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Enough about you ... Let's talk about meeeeeeeeee

What is wrong with these people? Why is it that the server waits for 15 minutes before bringing me my wine? The other table was served in 10. What about me?

And how about the guy ... you know the guy ... who is like that piece of toilet paper you just can't get off your shoe ... the one who is practiced in the art of the meaningless verbal filibuster. What about that guy? Doesn't he know it is all about me?

I walk down the hall from my room to the elevator and descend two floors, having been intercepted by four loving hotel employees ... their faces beaming, as they uniformly say "good morning, m'am." Ahh. But Ted had six intercepts. Don't they know it's all about me? 

The annoying butler. Yes, him. HE keeps bringing me things. Do you think he has that intuitive, deep sense that it is, in fact, all about me? Wait, he brought me dessert when I hadn't asked for it, interrupting my evening viewing of the Season 1 Rome finale. Maybe he DOESN'T realize it's all about me.

When did everyone stop thinking about me? What is WRONG with this planet? You want me to focus on you? Okay. What about you? ... ... ... Okay. Good. Uh huh. Now .. enough about you. Let's talk about ... mmmmmmm  ... mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee.



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